from the San Diego AA Coordinator, June 2020
Shakespeare said the world’s a stage, and we each play our part. My stage was in a bar room and that's where I got my start. It was the place where I felt safe to dream of things to be. “I think I'll be an astronaut,” it all made sense to me. Where fear and insecurity where words you'd never hear. For they were safely locked away, behind a keg of beer. But this can only last so long and the Piper we must pay. The fallacy was ripped away, and I had to face the day. I had to find a different stage and play a different role, To face my insecurities and fears would be my goal. Instinctive fear is not a fault that I need to replace, for it saves me from recklessness and falling on my face. Irrational fear is where I falter whenever I'm in doubt, while doing shameful things that I don't like to talk about. In later years I changed my role to acting like a clown. My drinking used to mask these things, that weighed my conscience down. Desperation was the final roll that brought me to my knees. My conscience told me “Call AA and deal with your disease.” It's in the program that I learn the habits of right living. Abandoning all the taking and replacing it with giving. AA has been the answer and I go there every day, now acting like I’m a grown-up, knowing God directs the play.